"There is a voice that most of us hear in our heads that tells us that we should be doing better. No matter what we do, there is more that we should have or could have done. While many people are crippled by this voice, most have learned to live with it and the abiding sense that “I should be doing better.” If ever there was a thought that should be ascribed to the Evil One, that is it." … John Anderson, Ph.D
One of my Facebook Friends lives in Malibu and photographs the sunrise every morning from Point Dume. Today with the photo she included this quote. It is the energy that has been ruminating in me.
I found myself feeling like it is time now to get off the hamster wheel of "I'm not enough yet!" See, look at my outer life.
In 2001 I met Bijan of http://www.effortlessprosperity.com. He basically said if you went straight to simply always seeing yourself the way divine does...claimed your Peace of I, that would be it. At the time my mind so couldn't even get on board. What about this? What about that? Don't I need to do this?
And I feel like I am a little sad this morning.
One of the things I do with Twitter since I have so many followers (and that is not a complaint) is follow what Dr. Joe Vitale found in this book he did on this little known advertising genius from the early 1900's. You see I pretty much tweet the same things every day whenever I end up tweeting for the 30 or 40 minutes I do each day. To me I can't possibly read every Tweet and I figure those who get my feed can't possibly see all of theirs. And every day I get new followers. So, pretty much every day I tweet the same things. I tweet things I want to remember for myself and things I want to share and things I am promoting.
So, I know that one of my tweets is "I can't feel bad enough to vibe in harmony with feeling good." Maybe I should add "I can't feel poor enough to vibe in harmony with flowing lavish amounts of money in my life."
What I am getting at is, when I am in the place of (and I know it was one of the reasons I wanted to participate in the challenge) "why isn't my outer life more _______(fill in the blank)" or "am I withholding self-love until I have 'x,y,z' manifested?" I feel like I almost should be angry with myself.
It made me realize that it truly (and especially in the eyes of the divine) must be counterproductive to feel like I am a fake when I think or feel like I am this amazing, awesome, bright shiny star in the heart of the Divine, when my outer life appears to be something unlike that according to whatever crap beliefs I have in my consciousness. That I should almost be angry because I am believing I am a fake if I am anything but the me the Divine created me to be.
Maybe I'm just sad 'cuz it seems like something is gonna have to give in my life and I am not sure I want it to. And yet in a way I know that with free will, it isn't the divine necessary saying I must make this choice. It's just that what if even though I know everyone is divine and wonderful and perfect in truth and essence, if they don't see themself that way and the harmonious vibe that attracted us to each other 5 years ago has been slowly but surely gaining a gap that is bringing us in disharmony...
An open-heart seems like it must be about zero resistance and zero limits. Today just may need to be a day of "how much can I let the blessings be?"
being well being. Know in my heart my request is fulfilled. I have help.
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