Love IS a state of being...not a decision.

What a day.

You may not even ever want to read what I wrote earlier today for September 17th.

Then I had a great lunch with my friend Ericka. All the while feeling like I have a decision to make.

You know it just seemed like today was that day when you have been ill and you are all scrunchy and restless and itchy and scratchy...that place right before you know the fever will break. And then there you are...well.

You know when I started American Well-Being, I did because on one level I could really understand that concept that if inwardly I claimed my truth (I AM DIVINE LOVE) then I'd vibe with that and everything that would eventually start showing up in my life would vibe with that.

I might come from this place for a minute or two and then I'd look outward again and nothing much would seem to have changed...so I would doubt myself and my resolve and choose...decide whether I should love myself based on the outer.

I was so excited about coming up with the "LOVE IS where fear is not...where fear is not IS LOVE" quote. Won't every one just want to know me and be my friend now and won't the money start flowing in even more and aren't I such a bright star and blah blah...open my eyes and none of that manifested.

Truth is I realize in going through today...LOVE IS all there is. Love is everywhere. Love is all around. Love is where fear is. It's more like if I am where fear is, it's like I am ignoring love and have chosen to focus on fear.

Which brings me right back to ho'oponopono. I love you. The first 3 of the 10 words. Again, not a decision, but a fact...a truth. I love you, Divine LOVE is technically what the vibe and intent is. The last 7 words, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you." seem like they can be explained sort of similar to walking in a room full of love and totally ignoring it 'cuz you are focused only on seeing fear...so you are sort of like, "sorry, I didn't see you there...didn't mean to ignore you. thanks." Divine LOVE wasn't really hurt by you ignoring it, it's just we have manners and it's the thing to do.

So, in all of this gyration I went through today, I again got to thinking about how I received that book, The 4-Hour Workweek, as a gift for my birthday last year. And I wanted to earn my living via the internet and only having to work 4-hours a week. I basically wanted to use Tim's recipe and make it work for me in my life. And initially what I really wanted to do was have my t-shirt designs be such a big hit on the internet that that would be the 4-hour workweek business blah blah.

I also wanted to do something...earn money based on my spiritual journey...thus the American Well-Being. Anyway, I filled out something on-line the other day where it asked me if I was an expert in something. I didn't have an answer. So as a lot of all of this was filtering through my consciousness today, I realized that the two things I really desire are to be successful with my t-shirt designs and be an expert with well-being.

The thing is...even if I don't become those things or even if I do...neither outcome can technically have an effect on the truth of who I am. Technically, it shouldn't even have an effect on my well-being or whether I love myself or not. I am love. I am a child of the divine. I am blessed. As the Rumi quote states, "You are not just a drop in the ocean. You are the mighty ocean in the drop." What's not to love about that?

So, I am grateful for the clarity. I am grateful to understand that I was afraid to really put myself out there and consider myself a well-being expert 'cuz I was afraid I'd be revealed as a fraud for not practicing what I preach. When the truth is to see or define me as anything but the mighty ocean in the drop, is fraud. Is self I-dentity theft.

I am grateful for the peace. I am grateful for the love. I am grateful for further uncovering the truth.

You know I was sort of thinking of it like this morning I was sort of like that Jaycee gal who had been missing for 18 years and was finally found and returned to her "real" parents. For 18 years she lived a seemingly horrible existence believe herself to most likely deserve her life and that this is who she was ONLY to find out that wasn't true.

So, of course, she will have times when she may feel like she's still that gal even though she knows the truth is that she is not.

The thing I am now seeking to keep going through the remainder of these 100 days is to stop being distracted by the virus. Stop thinking I am ill or something is wrong with me that needs to be fixed or that I need to know the secret of something or someone to heal me...blah, blah, blah.

Instead, I am seeking to focus on the truth that I already am flowing N glowing wellbeing NOW NOW NOW. It's not a choice. It's not a decision. It is who I am. I am wellbeing. I am divine. I am eternal. I am love. I am joy. I am peace. I am beauty. I am wealth. I am health. I am the Glory of God made manifest. I am loved. I am blessed. I am a blessing.

No one's opinion matters. Only mine. It is my inner vision of my SELF that determines what my outer experience will be. And no matter how much I see me as the truth and or know you as the truth of who you are, if you walk into my room and are only looking for fear-based manifestations...you will project that on me and not even see me as the truth.

So, I choose to stop "acting" and choose to be...choose "being well being"

Well, that is oh so much enough for today. Thanks to all of you who share this with me. Thank you God, Divine Love. I love you.